Torn

Yesterday was a very tough day for me! My Kindergarten class had their End of Year celebration and I was invited. Bringing Lawson or Lacey was never even a thought in my mind, but initially I planned to go. I asked Brian to take off work to watch Lacey and Lawson and began thinking about the day. I thought about my sweet little kiddos and how much I miss them. I thought about how much they must have learned and all the stories they would have to share. I thought about the special meaning behind the day. I thought about all the hugs and closeness we would share. Then I thought about the number of children that attend Brassfield, which made me think about all the germs that must flying around there; the media coverage these days of spreading illnesses didn't help. Not that I think my little darlin's are germy, just that schools are known to be germy places. The more I thought about it, the more worried I became. Lawson's health, although stable, is still in a very critical phase these first few months. Plus after our meeting with Dr. Rice, I'm even more nervous than before knowing that his 'good lung' is not a 'good' as we thought! After consulting several different friends for advice, I decided that I just couldn't risk it. I felt so terrible not spending that special day with my sweeties, but I sent my love through special comments about each one that my assistant read as she gave them their certificates. I'm sure they'll forgive me and may have not even missed me, but I sure missed them!