Latest Levering News

As most of you know, Brian recently entered the job market after 13 years at the same company because of downsizing. He set to work right away looking for a new job and after about two months of hard core job searching and two interviews, we got a call which set in motion the craziness that has been our lives for the past few weeks. In a matter of a few days, we have made some pretty big decisions!

On Monday, December 14, Georgia Pacific in Emporia, VA, called Brian to offer him the job for which he had interviewed about 2 weeks prior. They wanted an answer TWO days later, on Wednesday! We did some serious internet research and found that the best place to live nearby would be Roanoke Rapids, NC which is about 15 minutes from Emporia. So we loaded up the kids and headed that way on Tuesday.

We spent the day with the sweet ladies of Wilkie Real Estate touring some gorgeous houses and great neighborhoods. The weather was nice, so we saw a ton of children out and about in the neighborhoods. EVERY single person we encountered was friendly and it felt like we met half the town while we were there! LOL The 'downtown' area was really cute and charming, plus we heard the town has received a downtown revitalization grant, so more 'charm' is on the way! I think there's even a dance studio for Lacey!

While we were in the area, Brian got a chance to tour the Georgia Pacific plant where he will be working. You've probably heard of them. If not, start looking for their paper towel dispensers in public bathrooms; they're everywhere once you start looking! :) They make paper, paper products, plywood and many other things with locations all over America. Brian will be the Plant Purchasing Manager for the Emporia plant. He will be responsible for purchasing/stocking the parts needed to keep all the equipment running. It seems like a pretty good job and they guarantee 'performance based' bonuses plus lots of growth potential. For Brian it is a career move that's just too good to refuse. And for me, it's a few more years to be home with the kids.

Needless to say, he accepted the job! He'll move up the second week of January and starts work on January 18ish. We're putting the house on the market in early February. The kids and I will stay here until we sell (so Lacey can stay in school) and my mom is coming to stay with us to help me take care of the kids and keep the house clean. ;) We've already started getting the house ready, changing faucets and light fixtures, decluttering, painting, etc. It's a wild ride in the Levering house these days- exciting and terrifying at the same time! This will definitely be a culture shock/lifestyle change for us after living in Raleigh, but I’m confident we can make the most of it! We'll keep you posted as to our progress!

Another Homecoming

This Thanksgiving we brought Lawson back to my hometown for the first time. It was a wonderful visit, since my sister and her family were there too. So for the first time, my family was ALL together! It was wonderful! We also took Lawson to First Baptist Church, one of the churches that prayed so hard for Lawson's recovery. As soon as the pastor figured out who he was, he came and got Lawson and carried him all around the church. He was oogled over, prayed for, and celebrated! And one of his biggest fans, Sue Kiser, finally got the chance to hold him. It was a great day! Enjoy the pics.

On the Go

Tonight I'm posting from Brian's phone so bear with me! We've been on the road since Friday morning visiting family. First my sister and her family in DC; next Brian's grandparents in NJ. We're currently in NY, just for fun between stops. We're going to try to get on the Today show tomorrow-just in the crowd around the plaza. Last year Al Roker interviewed me! :). Now every time Lacey sees him on TV, she yells out, "We know him!" Let's hope We get to chat with our buddy again!

Lawson eating . . . er . . . attempting to eat

Here's a video of Lawson attmepting to eat. We're having quite a time getting him to take solid foods. He does this really funny thing when the food touches his tongue. He sticks it out, so as to say, "Eeew, get it off, get it off!" I'm sure he'll get it soon enough . . . ;) Enjoy!

New Milestone!

Lawson has been sitting up all by himself for a few days now! :)

Roly Poly

Please excuse our huge blanket over the couch. Yes, I know how incredibly tacky it is. However, this morning, I was reminded of exactly why we have it there. As Lawson finished his bottle, I moved him up to my shoulder for the obligatory burp. Instead of a burp, I got a projectile spit-up all across the back of the couch. Luckily my tacky blanket was there to save the day.

But all this is beside the point! Look at this video!! :) My favorite part is the punch at the camera at the end! As if to say, paparazzi, leave me alone! LOL

Cold Turkey

In case you've never tried stopping breastfeeding/pumping 'cold turkey', it's a very bad idea!! I do NOT recommend!

At our appointment at Duke on Tuesday, I was told I could stop pumping my breastmilk for Lawson. I took that literally and stopped; not a good idea! My breasts got very engorged and painful. I did know I needed to pump just a little to ease the pain, but not enough to 'stimulate' more milk production. So just before bed I pumped about an ounce from each breast. By the time Lawson woke up for his first night feeding, I was in so much pain, I could barely sleep! I ended up getting out of bed and coming downstairs to pump just to relieve the pain!! I've never been happier to pump in my life! Ahhhh, sweet relief! lol

It's Friday night and I've had to pump a few times each day to ease the pain, but it's getting better. This morning, I returned the hospital grade Medela pump (shown above) I had been renting from Smart Momma in Raleigh. Mothers of NICU babies are encouraged to rent the hospital grade pump if they're pumping more than feeding. Luckily I do have my own Medela Pump In Style that I used with Lacey and have had to use it. So as it turns out, even stopping the pumping is a challenge! LOL The things we do for our children! ;)

The End

So if you've been reading my blog, you know how important breastfeeding has been to me. I've wanted to breastfeed Lawson since he was born. Even when he was in the NICU, weeks away from ever eating anything, I shared my desire with his nurses. Most of the nurses were on board, saying that if breastfeeding was my goal, it was theirs too. There were a few who made me feel guilty for even talking about it when Lawson was so sick. I've held on to the hope until just recently.

During our last Special Infant Care Clinic visit, he showed that he had conquered his swallowing issues and we were approved to stop using the thickener in his milk and therefore approved to begin breastfeeding. At that point, he was about 4 months old. During that visit, he latched on and breastfed like a champ. When we got home and tried it again, I had thrush (again) and so it was extremely painful. So I continued to pump while giving him bottles of my expressed milk - now with no thickener, so it was much easier for him to take. I would try to breastfeed before each bottle, but as time passed, he grew more and more fond of his bottle and less fond of the breast, since it is more difficult to get milk from the breast. He is now at the point where if it even comes close to him he screams like I'm trying to kill him. LOL So I've given up on actually breastfeeding, but have continued to pump.

When I shared this with Dr. Benjamin at his appointment on Tuesday, she was amazed that I was still pumping. She commended me for my dedication to pumping, but said there was really no reason to continue. He had already gotten the important immunities that come with the early milk. I argued that I was committed to 'breastfeeding' for a year and she countered with, "That's only under the most ideal circumstances." I think we could say that I've had less than ideal circumstances- double mastitis, almost constant recurrence of thrush, pumping for weeks in the beginning when we couldn't even feed him, having several gallons of my frozen milk spoiled, and not even being able to start breastfeeding until he was about 4 months old. I think that breastfeeding a baby is a beautiful and natural thing. Hooking yourself up to a mechanical milking machine is just weird and unnatural! To be perfectly honest, as committed to breastfeeding as I have been, I was really happy to hear her say I could stop pumping.


My first thought was, "Hurray! Freedom! Now I don't have to be tied to the pump all the time and schedule my day around pumping." The next thought that quickly replaced it was, "Oh no! Now I don't have any excuse to sit in front of the computer while I pump for 30 minutes every 3 hours!" LOL

Miracle Baby

We didn't even know Lawson had an appointment Tuesday, until they called with the reminder message on Monday. Apparently, at our last Special Infant Care Clinic appointment 3 months ago, we thought we were finished, so we didn't check out and missed finding out about the appointment! (Either that, or we're really sucky parents and just forgot to write it down on either of our calendars.) We've had a variety of appointments at both Duke and his regular pediatrician, but the Special Infant Care Clinic appointments only happen every so often. It's the most intensive and involves the most time.

Lawson is now 14 pounds even and is 24.8 inches long!! He is in the 25th percentile for height and weight for his adjusted age! His upper and lower body strength is right on track! His head control is excellent for his adjusted age. He can roll from his back to both sides and has been approved to play on his tummy time mat with no support pillow. The physical therapist said he's probably about 6 weeks away from sitting up on his own and should begin rolling over with no support pillow any day now. He still enchants everyone he encounters with that contagious smile! It makes people feel so special when he charms them, I hate to tell them that he does that for everyone. ;)

They took blood to check if he has overcome the anemia found during his last SICC visit. We got awesome news! No more anemia!! That means we can drop two of his meds! We have also been asked to begin weaning him from the Reglan. A few weeks after he is completely off the Reglan, we can begin weaning off the Prilosec. That means by our next appointment, he will be completely off all of his meds!! Yippee! They did stress the continued importance of preventing any sort of illness. And just like you hear on the news - proper and frequent handwashing is the number one defense! One of the doctors suggested 'hibernating' this winter and avoiding any large groups of children, no church, gym, or other type of daycare. He will most likely move back to two breathing treatments per day during the winter. He will be receiving a medication from the doctor once a month over the fall/winter for the prevention of RSV, which preemies are more succeptible to getting.

The best thing though, is that EVERY doctor who saw him today called him "Miracle Baby". He saw three neonatologists, (only one was 'supposed' to see him, the others were just visiting) :) the physical therapist, and the lady who took his blood. As each one entered the room at different times and began to interact with Lawson, they all said, in so many words, "This baby is absolutely a miracle!" To see where he has been and where he is now, just astonishes people! Dr. Benjamin, one of our favorite neonatologists and the doctor who saw him at his last Special Infant Care Clinic, just couldn't get over what a big boy he has become. She kept calling him 'chunker'. I never thought I'd see the day that anyone would call Lawson a chunker! He's healthy. He's happy. He's a chunker. He truly is a miracle baby!

Halfway!

We've reached the halfway mark! Lawson has been home with us longer than he was in the NICU!! Since then we've been back to Duke many times for appointments and check ups. Just this week we had his hearing screening at Duke, which he passed. (Babies who've been on sustained ventilation have a much greater risk of hearing loss in the future.) This visit was over in record breaking time!! I was actually in disbelief when, after one procedure they said, "OK, you're all set." I jokingly said, "So we can go home now, right?" fully expecting to head back to the waiting room to wait for the next procedure. She said, "Yep, all done!" Thirty-one minutes from parking to returning to the car!!!

Auntie Shel's Visit

Over the weekend, my sister and her husband were finally able to make it down to see Lawson. We've tried to schedule this a few times, but this was the first time they've gotten to visit since Lawson has been home. They're living in Alexandria, VA these days, much closer than Holland, so it's a little easier, but life still happens.

This was the first time Michelle had gotten to hold Lawson. She did get to see him once in the hospital; yes, we sneaked her in when they came to visit while he was still at Duke! ;) They got in on Saturday and only spent one night, but we had a blast! We hung out at home and enjoyed each other's company until dinner time. We decided to take Mike and Michelle to downtown Raleigh, since they've been to visit us many times, but have never been downtown. This was Lawson's first visit downtown as well. We had dinner at The Big Easy on Fayettville Street and then sat outside to enjoy the evening. A sweet lady driving a rickshaw rode up and started chatting with Lacey. In true Lacey style, she charmed the lady into a free rickshaw ride around downtown. :) We took a tour around the city and then headed home to get Lacey to bed, very late I might add! She only sees her auntie every once in a while, so we bend the rules a bit on the bedtime. Lawson sleeps whenever he feels like it, so it didn't bother him! lol

Portraits

This week I decided that Lawson was well enough to finally have some portraits made. I called an old friend, Kitty Jones, who took some amazing portraits of Lacey when she was a baby. Ms. Kitty is the manager at JC Penny Portriat Studio at North Hills. She doesn't really take photos any more due to the time/stress constraints of the managerial position, but she makes the occasional exception. I'm glad she did; these are amazing! Thanks Kitty!

We're also planning to have some less formal family portraits made by another good friend, Nathan Schepker. I'll post those as soon as they're done. You can see his work at www.nathanspictures.com.

Time to Mourn

The time has come for me to mourn a loss. It happened quite a while ago, but we found out about it the day we were bringing Lawson home from the NICU. I haven't said anything about it yet but now it's painfully clear what a huge loss it was. Gallons of my breastmilk were lost. There's only enough milk for about 3 days left in our freezer. I'm still pumping and we're trying to breastfeed before each bottle, but I'm just not making enough milk to keep up. If you've been following my blog, you know how important is to me for Lawson to get my milk.

Early on, I was pumping and freezing all my milk, since Lawson wasn't able to eat for weeks and when he finally was, he was getting very small amounts. So of course I had a TON of milk to store. There were bins in the refridgerators in the NICU for moms to store milk and mine was stuffed full, as was our freezer at home. So we asked Brian's brother to store a huge bag of milk (I'm talking large cooler full of little bottles.) in the big chest freezer at his house in Apex. After that the milk just kept piling up, so we finally broke down and bought our own large chest freezer for our garage. We kept saying we needed to head to Apex and pick up the milk they were storing for us but trips to Duke just kept getting the better of us. So the day we finally brought Lawson home from the NICU, Brian called to let them know he would come and get it, only to find out that it was gone! There had been some serious storms that caused their electricity to go off long enough for much of the milk to thaw out. The 'safety rules' of storing breastmilk say that once milk has been thawed it cannot be refrozen.

I cried so hard when Brian told me about it, but I figured everything would be fine. However, since we've been home, it's been harder to pump as often as I should, so my milk supply has really suffered. I found an awesome product called 'More Milk Plus' which really helped, but not enough. It's just a fact, no product in the world will help if you don't pump on schedule. I know the day is in sight when my milk will run out and Lawson will have to take a few bottles of just formula. I'm really sad about that, but there's just not enough hours in the day to pump as often as I need to to keep up with the demand.

A reason to smile

I've realized that several of my last posts have sounded kinda negative, which is very uncharacteristic of me! If this doesn't give you a reason to smile, I don't know what will!! Here is one of the absolutely wonderful things about staying home! (more to come in the future)

We've recently found out that Mr. Lawson is ticklish . . .

Sleep Deprived

My son and I really need to have a chat about our sleep schedules! Those of you who know me, know I am NOT a morning person! In my opinion, the day should begin at around 10:15am, just early enough to get breakfast at McDonalds. I could easily stay awake half the night. As a matter of fact, it's hard for me to go to bed early. Well, except for when I was pregnant with Lacey. I was so exhausted, plus trying to do everything by the book, that I went to bed at 9pm without a fuss. By the time Lawson came along, I was so exhausted, yet so busy that my evening was just beginning at 9pm! Now I'm usually heading to bed by around 12:45 after my final pumping session of the evening. (Yes, I have given up pumping during the night!) The problem is that Lawson wakes up to eat at around 3am ready to party! His 'long span' of sleep between feedings is from about 6pm until around 11pm , so he's just not ready to go back to sleep when he's supposed to be sleeping. (He's an evening sleeper like Daddy! lol) When he's finished his 3am bottle, we hang out and play for about an hour. He finally goes back to sleep until around 6am, when he's ready to wake up to eat and start his day. OMG! Starting my day at 6am after a night like that!? I'm going to die of sleep deprivation!

Alternate Universe

For my entire working life, my world has revolved around the beginning and ending of school. My 'year' begins when school begins. Starting a school year means the mad rush it takes to get everything ready for another batch of little ones. And ending a year means tying up all the little details like paperwork and programs. Most of those years the rush to begin starts in August and the wrap up happens in June, which leaves at least a month between ultra busy times. Three years ago when I began teaching at a year round school, the mad rush to begin and end happend with less than a week in between! Talk about an adreneline rush, a natural high! It was exhausting, yet fabulous. For a work-a-holic lovin' her job teacher, it was a love/hate relationship.

I haven't been back to work since the Wednesday I left for my 33 week check-up. That was 19 weeks ago. For the first time since I started teaching 11 years ago, I have missed ending one year and beginning another. If I were working this year, I would have already been back to school for 3 weeks and would be 3 weeks away from my first track out! I'm still checking my work email pretty regularly, mostly out of curiosity. Yet I still feel completely out of the loop, as I guess I'm supposed to be. That's what taking the year off means, right?

I can't help but wondering what my class would have been like if they were in fact mine. How would this group be different from last year, the one before that? I think I miss working, especially since there are days that I never get out of my pajamas! Somehow I thought it would be easier to disengage from work. Although it is nice not to have the pressure and stress of beginning a school year, I miss the rush . . . a little. Seriously, it feels like there's an alternate universe happening parallell to my life right now. Someone else is in my classroom, teaching my class, attending my meetings, stealing my high!

Milestones

• Lawson is 4 months 1 week old.
• He now weighs 11 lbs 14oz!
• He is officially wearing size 3M clothes.
• He can roll over on his tummy time mat (with the pillow propping him up, but that's a start)!
• He's laughing out loud!

Not Your Usual Baby Shower

The day our wild roller coaster NICU ride with Lawson began, we were to have had a baby shower at Brian's work. Before we got the news, I remember him being all stressed out that we were going to be late. Brian tends to be wound up awfully tight and can find pretty much anything to stress about! ;) As we sat in the waiting room, he kept checking his watch and asking when they were going to call us. When we finally got into the ultrasound room, we had to wait again. So of course, there was more complaining. I'll never forget the moment when she finally placed the wand on my enormous belly. It was almost immediate; she said, "I'm going to go get the doctor." She had a definite look of concern on her face, the kind where she's trying NOT to look concerned. When I asked what was going on, she just said, "I'm seeing something here I think he should see." I started crying, but I think that was the first time Brian was quiet. We waited quietly for her to return. When she returned with Dr. Zimmerman he took one look and began making calls to get us to Duke. Brian began making calls to tell them we wouldn't be making it to the shower. It's funny how quickly priorities change!

Four months later, I had a shower, although not the same one. My girls had also planned a shower and on Sunday we finally had it with a few minor changes. We met at 518 instead of my friend's house. We dined on yummy Italian brunch instead of finger foods and punch. I wore a sundress we got during our trip to Europe, instead of a maternity dress I got at the mall. There was an adorable picture of healthy Lawson on the cake, instead of baby rattles and such. In lieu of shower games, we talked of the long road it has taken us to get here. Instead of oohs and ahhs over the gifts, we cried happy tears. And instead of the anticipation usually felt at a baby shower, we felt triumph over adversity. The gifts I got were wonderful, but nothing compares to sharing tears of joy with friends.

Play with me!

Lawson, Lacey and I have been home together for about 7 weeks, since we pulled Lacey out of daycare to prevent her from bringing home germs to Lawson. She's super smart and loves to learn, but she's also very social, which means I hear, "Mommy will you play with me?" several hundred times a day! Another common phrase I hear is, "But I need someone to play with me!". Just the other day, I experienced a magic I've never known before! Allow me to explain.

Recently, our next door neighbors decided to rent out their house and move somewhere else. Honestly, our first thought was, "Oh no! Renters!" Living so close to NC State, we were worried we would end up with partying college students. We couldn't have been farther from wrong!

A day or two after the moving vans were gone, we carried out our 'new neighbor welcome ritual' of bringing a treat and a card to introduce ourselves. We were thrilled to find a couple about our age with two kids, 2 and 4!!! The mom and I seem to have a lot in common and Lacey gets along beautifully with the children . I'm pretty sure Lawson will love them too, but he kinda keeps to himself these days. ;)

Now on to the magic . . . For the first time in my life, I opened the door a few days ago to hear, "Can (Lacey) come out and play?" I grew up on a huge farm in the country with no neighbors, so I've never had a neighbor come over and ask me to play. She spent over an hour playing over there! Plus just the other day, the four-year-old came over to bring Lacey a picture he had made for her. We invited him in to play and within moments they had disappeared upstairs. I couldn't believe my ears; the happy chatter of two busy kids instead of, "Mommy, will you play with me?" Planned playdates are great, but impromptu walks across the grass can't be beat! :) I think this is the start of something wonderful!

Dumb and Dumber

Brian had the day off work today, since he's been working longer days to get every other Friday off. He decided today would be a good day to get a new ceiling fan for our bedroom because the chain broke off ours the other day and now it won't turn on. He warned me that the last time he installed a ceiling fan, he did something wrong, blew a fuse in the house and blew the motor in the fan! We went to Lowe's to pick out a new fan. The one we chose was called the 'Five Minute Fan' by Hunter. According to the box, it's so easy you can install it in 5 minutes. As soon as we got home, Brian was eager to get started, but had to run back to Lowe's to get the extension rod, since our ceiling is extremely high. Apparently he thought it was in the box. It wasn't. As soon as he returned from Lowe's the second time, Lacey and I had to leave for a birthday party, from 5:30 -7:30 so he and Lawson were on their own to finish the job.

Lacey and I arrived home after the party to find Brian still working on the Five Minute Fan. He admitted to having to go back to Lowe's again! He ended up getting the wrong length of extension rod the first time and had to return it for the shorter one. He also admitted to having tried to 'wing it' without the directions, thus having to do several things at least twice. I, myself, tend to be a by the book kinda gal, so I offered to help by carefully reading the directions. If I have to say it myself, the directions were extremely unclear!! There was no mention of what to do with a red wire coming out of the ceiling!! Even with both of us winging it AND reading the directions, we had to hook up the wires 3 different ways in order to have both the fan and light working by both the switch and pull chains.

Once we finally got the wiring figured out, the only thing left to do was install the globe over the lights. Easy right? Wrong! So . . . the manual shows threading the chain for the fan and the chain for the light through the little holes on the hardware and then down through the 2 holes in the globe. As we're doing a balancing act on the footboard of our bed trying to thread the fan chain and hold the globe, we realize that the globe only has one hole! We were baffled as to what to do with the light chain, which was heading straight down through the place where we would have to screw the whole thing together. We took everything down and I quickly referred to the manual. No help there; their picture shows a globe with two holes. We decided we would have to cut off the chain in order to get it screwed on. Luckily we knew enough to turn the lights off before we began cutting anything. We got everything put together and stepped back to admire our work, proud that we had come up with such an ingenious way to solve a gliche in their design! As we flipped the light switch, we realized that as Brian was cutting, he accidentally pulled the chain and turned the light off just as he made the cut! Seriously, the light was off with no chain to turn it back on! After a full out household search for tweezers, we were able to manipulate the chain to turn the lights back on and then get the whole thing put back together again. Exhausted from all my mental genius, I laid down on the bed to check out our beautiful new fan from that angle. From my vantage point laying on the bed, I noticed that the cap used to screw it all together was hollow- yep, hollow for the chain to hang through. Brian and I couldn't decide who was dumb and who was dumber! LOL Hey at least we didn't blow the motor! :)

By the way, there was not only a misprint in their directions, but also on the box . . . It should have said "Five Hour Fan". ;)

Hungry?

Every day it seems that Lacey gets more and more creative with her drawings. Just a few weeks ago her 'people' were faces with legs. She's now moved on to faces with bodies and legs. There's rarely arms, unless I remind her. They usually have hair and many times they have belly buttons. :) This was the first picture she has made that included a 'background' and 'theme', where something was actually happening in the picture. This picture in particular has a very funny twist. . . Here's Lacey talking about that picture. It's in two parts, because I wanted more details on why one of her people had a face on his tummy . . .

Here's the description of 'hungry'. . .

As soon as she told me about it, I knew which commercial she was talking about. The funny thing is, she doesn't watch that much TV. She works to earn 2 'shows' a day and her 'shows' are on Noggin, so there's no commercials. We don't even turn on the TV during the day unless she has earned a show. As soon as Brian gets home, he turns on the news and it pretty much stays on the rest of the evening. Apparently at some point, she's seen this commercial . . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1ytP9oazCo

Tooooooooooooooo funny!

On time! Sort of . . .

So yesterday my facebook status was "Mitzi Stinson Levering is wondering if we can actually make it to Lawson's doctor appointment on time this week. We should start getting ready, since we've only got 6 hours! LOL" That was at 9am. I was halfway joking and yet we were still cutting it close to arrive on time! I wish I were the 'on time' person, but I just can't seem to make it happen. Within the 6 hours I managed to pump twice, feed Lawson 2 bottles, give Lawson 4 medicines, change 3 poop blow-out diapers including outfits, take a shower, bathe Lawson, give Lacey a shower including hair washing (have you seen how much hair she has), feed Lacey breakfast and lunch, iron the dress that Lacey insisted on wearing, pack the diaper bag, and talk to my mom on the phone. We got there just in time to be on time, okay, maybe 5 minutes late. The funniest part is that they apologized for not being able to give us the 'coveted 9am' slot! Might I insist that the 9am slot is only coveted by morning people and not just that but 'on time' morning people! I don't ever want the 9am slot! Ever!

Lawson's Future Girlfriend

Lawson has been betrothed since we found out he was going to be a boy! My friend Katie and I were due on exactly the same day, April 25, and they found out that she was having a girl right around the same time that we found out I was having a boy. Since Katie and my husband, Brian are both huge Carolina fans, they decided that our boy and their girl will have to marry someday, or at least date! :)

As you know if you've been following my blog, Lawson was invited into the world 6 weeks early so the neonatologists at Duke could better deal with the myriad of problems we already knew he would face, thanks to the ultrasound taken at 33 weeks. On March 13 at 11:09 pm, Lawson entered the world limp and lifeless and was rushed away to the NICU so the neonatologists could begin the long and tedious job of saving his life. It ended up taking 11 weeks and 1 day to get Lawson home with us. To look at him now, you would NEVER guess all he has been through! On Monday, he will be 4 months old, having spent only 6 weeks of that time at home.

Katie's little beauty arrived happy and healthy on April 10 at 11:51 am. Catesby Larew Partin was born, weighing in at 7 lbs 5 ounces and measuring 21 and half inches long. Catesby celebrated her 3 month birthday on Friday. (Lawson is the 'older man' by about one month.) To mark the day, her amazing and adorable mommy posted the cutest list on facebook of 20 things her 3 month old has taught her . . . so far. With Katie's permission, I'm sharing it here.

1. Babies do not differentiate between diapers and bath tubs...both are poop, I mean, par for the course.
2. Even though new moms don't feel great about their appearance, it doesn't matter, because no one is looking at you anymore anyway!
3. Small successes are to be celebrated: Catesby's smiles, coos, and wobbly head holding are cause to break out the champagne.
4. It's okay to be late. I never again will fault any parent who arrives to any function later than expected.
5. Stay at home moms should be paid.
6. Recording milestones on video takes a ton of patience.
7. New moms have their boobs out a lot.
8. Maternity leave is not the time you'll get all those chores done you thought you would. Taking care of baby is about all you'll have time for.
9. Babies look cuter in hats and other accessories, even if they'll only keep them on for a millisecond.
10. Baby vomit is called spitup so you won't be quite as grossed out.
11. No article of clothing is safe from baby spitup.
12. Avoiding talking about your child is nearly impossible for a new mom.
13. Taking yourself too seriously seems ridiculous once you've had a baby.
14. Leaving your baby is hard, even when you know she's in good hands.
15. Dogs like to lick babies' faces.
16. Breast pumps are fabulous inventions.
17. It feels remarkable to be needed and adored by your child.
18. It's exhausting to be needed and adored by your child.
19. It's not abnormal to want to stare at another human being this much.
20. Loving something this much is possible.
I'm sure there are more things that I've learned, but Baby Roo is telling me it's time to get my butt in gear and feed her!!!

Thanks, Katie, for letting me share your insights on this thing we call motherhood! :)

On Hold

Breastfeeding is a wonderful and beautiful thing! It is a perfect way for mother and child to bond. Quite possibly the most natural thing a woman can do. OK, I'm getting a little carried away here. I'll have to say I agree with the first two, but that last one about being 'natural' is just a load of crap! I don't care how many people say breastfeeding is a natural skill that every baby and mother share, it's just simply not the case. It's a learned skill! In an earlier post I mentioned that I breastfed Lacey for 14 months and loved every second of it. Well, what I actually meant was that I loved every second AFTER the 400,000 or so it took her to get good at it. She didn't take a bottle until about 3 months and never really used a pacifier, so for her it was just a matter of figuring out how to latch on correctly, which is the key to successful nursing (and preventing EXTREME pain for mom). I know that a good latch is the key to preventing EXTREME pain from firsthand knowledge. There were nights I sat there crying in pain, determined to continue breastfeeding, adjusting her latch over and over, frustrating both her and me until we got it right. We trudged on through cracked and bleeding nipples, through a rough bout of thrush (yeast infection of the breast - ridiculously painful, like having broken glass in your nipples), and in spite of having a low milk supply. So to say that I loved every second of it is seriously discounting the serious 'work' we put into it at the beginning.

So the point of this vignette? Teaching a baby to breastfeed is complicated! Teaching a preemie to breastfeed is more complicated. Teaching a preemie who was unable to have any milk for the first month of his life, was fed through a feeding tube in his nose for the next month of his life, and has been drinking exclusively from a bottle for the last month to breastfeed is pushing the limits. Having thrush when your teaching a preemie . . . you get the point. The thrush, combined with Lawson's poor latch, makes it so painful that I can barely stand it! It does hurt to pump, but not as bad. Lawson does not have thrush in his mouth, but we're treating him with Nystatin just in case. Not sure what it is about my breasts, but this is the 4th time I've had thrush since he's been born! I've followed all the recommendations of the doctors and lactation consultants, but I feel like I've had thrush forever! I've boiled bottles and pump parts, used Newmans Nipple Cream and Nystatin, taken two weeks worth of Diflucan, washed bras in bleach and hot water, sat topless in the sun out on the deck. . . I've even painted the nipples with gentian violet (dark purple stain), supposedly THE cure for thrush, but nothing seems to work! Ugh!

So the day I've been waiting for, the day we were given the green light to breastfeed, has been put on hold until I can shake this recent bout of thrush.

The day we've been waiting for!

Today's visit to Duke was quite eventful! We were told to expect to be there a good part of the day, so we arranged for Lacey to have a play date with friends. It's a good thing, since our appointment was at 10am and we didn't finish until after 2pm. We met with the speech therapist, physical therapist, the neonatologist fellow, the attending physician, and a few other Lawson fans.

As we checked in, Lawson began working his smiley magic on the receptionist and continued throughout the day. We had been in the waiting area for quite a while, when one of our favorite fellows who was there when he was born, through it all, and there when he left, walked by. She smiled and waved but kept walking. Brian and I puzzled over why she wouldn't even stop to get a look at him. A few moments later, she reappeared, stopping to chat and oogle over Lawson. Every time we'd ever seen her, which was only in the NICU, she had been wearing scrubs. Since she was dressed in street clothes today, I asked, "So are you just hanging out at Duke today?" Her reply surprised and delighted me! "I actually wanted to see if I could get in on Lawson's appointment. If they can get you guys into a room soon, I'm going to stay."

The nurse came soon after to get his weight and height. They didn't have a room yet, so she asked us to leave the stroller and our stuff and just carry him to the scale. As I undressed him, I unwrapped an unexpected surprise! Lawson had blown out his diaper and had poop from his underarm all the way down his outfit to his toes!!!! I didn't notice at first, so it got all over the exam table! Since I had just carried him in there, I didn't have the diaper bag with me! I was mortified, yet cracking up at the same time! I left Lawson with the nurse and went back for the diaper bag. By the time we got him cleaned up and dressed in his third outfit for the day (he spit up on the 'special outfit' before we even left the house this morning), a room was ready for us.

One of the first people we met with today was Amanda, the speech therapist who nixed breastfeeding after the swallow study showed breastmilk that had not been thickened would aspirate into his lungs. So since we've had Lawson home, we've had to add Simply Thick to all of Lawson's bottles to protect his lungs. If you've read my earlier posts, you know how devistating it was to me that I would not be able to breastfeed. Well, we had our big test today. It just happened to be time for Lawson to feed while Amanda was there. She asked if I felt comfortable trying to breastfeed in front of her so she could see if Lawson seemed to be ready. Within a few seconds, Lawson was coughing. Oh no! Coughing is a sign of aspiration! My heart raced and spirits dropped! I know Amanda could see it on my face because she said, "Don't worry, he's just getting warmed up!" It didn't take long before got himself together and nursed like a champ! So the very best news we got today was that we don't have to use Simply Thick in his bottles any more and WE CAN BREASTFEED!!!!!

Other highlights of the day . . . Lawson now weighs 10lbs 9oz, still below the 5th percentile for his chronological age (actual age since his birth), but 25th percentile for his adjusted age (age since his due date). His is 22 inches long, 10th percentile for his adjusted age. He smiled at EVERYBODY who looked at him, charmed all the ladies, and managed to keep his good mood most of the day. He is on track for his chronological age in his social skills and on track for his adjusted age in physical development. We still have to be very careful to protect him from colds, illnesses, germs, etc due to his lungs still not being healed. He will continue the daily nebulizer and the current meds at higher doses based on his new weight. His feeding schedule will be to breastfeed whenever he is hungry and supplement with a bottle of breastmilk mixed with formula occasionally for the extra calories. I will continue to pump after feedings to keep up my milk supply. His next appointment is next Monday with our regular pediatrician. I can't imagine we'll have anything but good news to share from here on out, but there's no way anything can top the news we got today! :)

Moving Ahead

On Wednesday, I packed up all of my teaching supplies and moved them into my garage. In my mind it was the 'official' start to my year at home. The class that I started the year with had their last day of the school year Thursday and all the teachers had staff development on Wednesday. So it was eerily quiet in the halls of Brassfield as I packed my things. I was surprised by how quickly I was able to get everything done and even more surprised by how I was able to approach it as 'work' and control my emotions. Don't be misled, I'm very excited to stay home with my kids, but I LOVE being a teacher and if I have to say it myself, I'm pretty good at it! :) Next year would have been my 12th year! I know I'm going to miss it!

It's hard for me to not reminisce about my experiences over the years. I can still remember my first year in Jacksonville, NC; I should apologize to those kids! LOL Even though I had a great education from James Madison University, plenty of 'practice' with helping in other teachers' classrooms, and a wonderful Student Teaching experience, I'll admit, I had no idea what I was doing! Luckily I had a great mentor and wonderful team of teachers and a great conference called 'I Teach K' to help. I spent the next 4 years doing everything in my power to grow and learn as a teacher and loved every second of it. In my 4th year of teaching, I earned National Board Certification and continued grow as a professional. By my 6th year, I was named the Teacher of the Year at my school, Underwood.

It has always been more than just a drive to be good at my job, I truly enjoy doing 'teacher' things. I often call it my 'hobby' and my job. It was nothing for me to stay at school until 8pm and go in on the weekends just to work on special projects to do with my kids. Plus I spent hours searching the internet for teaching ideas. I figured things would change when I had kids of my own, but it didn't right away. Lacey was born during my 8th year of teaching. The night I went into labor with her (two weeks early) I had been at school until 7pm working on maternity sub plans. I took 12 weeks off with her, but she and I both spent a lot of time at school during my maternity leave! I returned to work 2 days before Christmas break. As a work-a-holic teacher who was passionate about her job, I had the BEST possible childcare situation for Lacey's first year of life. One of my former student's mom still had more children at Underwood and lived within walking distance. She agreed to pick up Lacey from my classroom just before the bell rang in the morning and drop her off at the end of the day. So Lacey and I could stay at school in the evenings as long as I wanted. Luckily that changed when she began going to daycare. I still spent too much time on work stuff, but my priorities did change quite a bit. To be honest, I NEVER pictured myself as the type of person who could truly put work aside. This whole situation with Lawson has really adjusted our priorities!

Lawson is 18 weeks old now, but he's only been home with us for 6 weeks, the standard maternity leave. If I were not taking the year off, my leave would have been over the week we brought him home! Since the doctors felt he just should not be exposed to a daycare situation for at least one year, for me to stay home was a no-brainer. After everything that has happened and all that we've been through, I consider myself lucky to have the opportunity to spend a year at home with my children, doctor's orders!

Torn

Yesterday was a very tough day for me! My Kindergarten class had their End of Year celebration and I was invited. Bringing Lawson or Lacey was never even a thought in my mind, but initially I planned to go. I asked Brian to take off work to watch Lacey and Lawson and began thinking about the day. I thought about my sweet little kiddos and how much I miss them. I thought about how much they must have learned and all the stories they would have to share. I thought about the special meaning behind the day. I thought about all the hugs and closeness we would share. Then I thought about the number of children that attend Brassfield, which made me think about all the germs that must flying around there; the media coverage these days of spreading illnesses didn't help. Not that I think my little darlin's are germy, just that schools are known to be germy places. The more I thought about it, the more worried I became. Lawson's health, although stable, is still in a very critical phase these first few months. Plus after our meeting with Dr. Rice, I'm even more nervous than before knowing that his 'good lung' is not a 'good' as we thought! After consulting several different friends for advice, I decided that I just couldn't risk it. I felt so terrible not spending that special day with my sweeties, but I sent my love through special comments about each one that my assistant read as she gave them their certificates. I'm sure they'll forgive me and may have not even missed me, but I sure missed them!

The Man, The Legend

We had our follow up appointment with Dr. Rice today. It was the first time I've had to get Lacey and Lawson ready all by myself and go anywhere. (We went to his regular pediatrician yesterday just for a weight check to see if they need to change his medicine dosing, but Brian met us at home before we went.) We were pretty excited that he us up to 9lb 10oz!!! Dr. Rice was excited to see us and very pleased with his progress. He did mention the x-ray that Dr. Majure had shared with us last week. He pulled it up for us to look at together again today. He pointed out that the right lung (the good one) is quite distneded, which it had been before we left the NICU. This was caused by the right mainstem intubation. He said that we shouldn't worry about it, but the fact that he mentioned it makes me worry a little. His exact words were, "Hmmm . . . I thought it would have gone back to normal by now." He recommended we come back for another x-ray in 3 months. I know I'll worry until then and be ridiculously overprotective, but it's been way too long coming to snuggle this little miracle to take any chances of getting him sick again!

Saying Goodbye

My mom has been here since March 18 helping me through the wild roller coaster that has been our lives for the past 3 months. At times we were terrified for Lawson's life, other times overjoyed with his progress. There is no way I could have been as strong as I've been without her. It's hard for me to understand the selflessness she has shown to dedicate that much time to our lives, but I am forever grateful!

They left around 10am, so I got my first taste of what it will be like to have Lacey and Lawson home with me. After I got over crying when they left, I think we did pretty well. The hardest thing is figuring out the timing of pumping and feeding. Lawson ate right on schedule and napped beautifully. One thing that's rather funny, we have an awesome pack-n-play that converts into a bassinet with a changing table. We've been told it's the 'Cadillac' of convertible bassinets. We used it with Lacey and from what I remember she slept in there pretty well. Lawson, however, hates it! The only place he will sleep is in the sleep positioner on the couch or chair in our family room. And he LOVES to sleep in the Boppy pillow. (Yes, I know it says not to let your baby sleep in them, but when he's sleeping in his Boppy, I'm sitting right next to him.) It actually works out pretty well, since I'm usually sitting on the couch pumping anyway! So it was a pretty good day overall. We'll see if I can keep up with them!

Back to Duke

We headed back to Duke today for the first of many follow up visits with his 'old friends' there. This appointment was with Dr. Majure, one of the pulmonologists. We knew about 'Duke time' from our experience there in the NICU, but we weren't prepared for 'Clinic Duke time'! Our scheduled time was 11am. By about noon, they suggested that we go ahead downstairs for his chest x-ray, since the doctor wasn't ready yet. The directions were less than clear and we ended up in the adult x-ray department, which we didn't find out until about 15 minutes later as we sat in the waiting room. The receptionist finally redirected us to another waiting room where we waited another 30 minutes. This went on all day throughout his variety of tests in different areas of the hospital. We were finally headed home by about 3:30pm.

The great news is that Lawson is doing wonderfully. Dr. Majure was one of the doctors who spent quite a bit of time on Lawson's case. After reviewing the results of his tests and his chest x-ray, his exact words were, "It is a miracle that Lawson is alive and even more of a miracle that he is doing as well as he is!" Needless to say, we were overjoyed to hear that news! He has been able to drop one of his daily breathing treatments, so now he's down to only one nebulizer treatment per day! He's up to 8lbs 14oz and 22in!! He'll be topping 9lbs soon! :)

In other news, my dad arrived today to take my mom back home to Virginia. The real world will be kicking in soon!

Swim Lessons

Today Lacey got her first swim lesson of the season. She was so excited she could hardly wait! Since my mom's still here, she kept Lawson at home while Brian and I watched Lacey. She took a few lessons last year and by the end of the season, she would go underwater near the steps, but I would definitely say that she cannot swim. Her lesson today was basically a review of the skills she learned last year. She will put her face in the water and likes to jump off the side if someone catches her, but she's still working on keeping her legs behind her and straight when she kicks. She loves the pool and I'm sure she's going to get really good at it. Brian thinks I should bring her to the pool every day to practice. I think he's got a LOT more confidence in me than I do! :) I'm not sure if I'm talented enough to watch Lacey in the pool and Lawson in the stroller and keep both of them safe. Maybe in a few weeks when Lawson is ready, some of my stay home mom friends or traditional school teachers on summer break can tag team with me at the pool. Any takers?

Happy 3 Month Birthday, Lawson!

Today is Lawson's 3 month birthday! This afternoon, my mom and I had to make a 'quick' trip to the Patsy Aiken Attic Sale to return one of the outfits that we got at the last sale that didn't fit Lacey. We took her with us, so of course, it wasn't a 'quick' trip. I wanted her try on everything so I didn't have to return stuff again! Lacey, on the other hand, just wanted to try on everything . . . except what I picked out. Unfortunately, we missed the 30 day return period on all the cute little outfits I got Lawson a few sales ago, before he was born. According to my calculations, the huge prego belly I was packin', Lacey's size as a newborn, and his daddy's size, I figured he would need stuff in 6 Months for the summer. He's 3 months old now and just beginning to fit into his size Newborn stuff. Oh well, maybe he'll fit into them next summer or keep your eyes open for them on ebay! lol

Daddy got his first experience home alone with Lawson during our shopping trip today. By the time we got home, he was ready to pass the baton! All that super dad stuff gets old fast. I guess we'll see if the SD cape can still fly once my mom is gone, since the title is really only earned with longevity! lol She has definitely made life MUCH easier for both of us! She does so much, she puts us to shame! I honestly think if she could pump for me, she would, just to show me it can be done! lol Brian and I are both in for a reality check pretty soon! It'll be a different story without Super Mamaw as backup. You know, I'm not sure which emotion will overcome her first once she's gone, missing Lacey and Lawson, or pride in the fact that we will never be able to keep this house as clean as she does! ;)

New Beginnings

As I've mentioned in an earlier post, we've pulled Lacey out of daycare to prevent her from bringing home germs while Lawson's condition is still very fragile. And since I'm not returning to work, we don't need all day daycare. However, as I've also mentioned in an earlier post, Lacey's appetite for learning is almost insatiable. So we've decided to enroll Lacey in preschool. We've had her on the waitlist at The Raleigh School since I decided to stay home next year. We got the call this week that she's been accepted! We stopped by to pick up some paperwork and let Lacey check out the classroom and playground today. She loved it and so do we! She will go from 1pm - 4pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays starting in September. By then, Lawson will be 6 months old and should be able to better handle the germs Lacey may bring home. Things just keep getting better and better! :)

Working out the kinks

Brian is back to work, but thankfully my mom is still here with me. Since Lawson is on such a strict feeding/medication schedule, we're trying to use that as a baseline to work out a sort of daily schedule, a lesson plan if you will. Those of you who know me well, know how much I like a plan! Seriously, without a plan I would never accomplish anything! So I guess it's more of a need than a 'like'. :)

I've had almost two weeks to get a feel for our new day and three days doing it without Brian. My mom and I are attempting to create a spreadsheet of days and times so we can fill in all the things that have to happen at a specific time; mixing up Lawson's 'potion', feeding Lawson, feeding Lacey, pumping, giving Lawson's meds, giving Lacey's meds, giving Lawson's nebulizer, and washing bottles and pump parts. Those are the 'must dos' every single day, most of which fall within a 3 hour range, I have to be pretty regimented to get it all in.

Even with my mom being here, one of the things that seems to get pushed off schedule is pumping. I know how important it is for Lawson to get the breastmilk, which translates to being important for me to pump, but somehow finding time to sit here for 30 minutes, when there are so many other 'active' things I need to do, seems elusive. Plus Lawson needs to be either sleeping or happy and comfortable for at least 30 minutes, since it's next to impossible for me to hold him while I pump. Lacey is a huge help, but I can't put that much responsibility on her.

Then of course, there are the other things we need to schedule into our day/week, such as Lacey's learning and 'project' times, outdoor play, baths, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, cooking . . . I know many mothers before me have done this and done it well, but I'll go ahead and admit - I'm scared! I'm barely making it happen right now, while mom is still here to entertain Lawson and Lacey, so I'm a little nervous for her to leave. My dad is coming to visit Father's Day weekend and she'll be heading home with him that next week. That means I've got less than two weeks to work out the kinks!
(Speaking of working out kinks, I'm planning to go back and add some pictures to the older posts, now that I have a better idea of how this blogger thing works. Back then I was just trying to get all my thoughts in written form, but now I'd like to match the pictures up with the time frame. So I apologize if you're a blog 'follower'; I think you'll receive an email each time I make changes.)

"A gooo"

Lawson had the second of his many follow up appointments yesterday. This was with his regular pediatrician to check for appropriate weight gain. We were sooooooooo proud of him . . . he is up to 8lb 4oz!! That's up 1 lb 2oz since we brought him home from the hospital! The doctor made us feel very good about what we've been doing with him. :)

That's really all the news we have to share, but I HAVE to share this video! Seriously, could he get any cuter!?

Germaphobes

We've been home with Lawson exactly one week today and I really can't think of one reason to complain, except maybe that we’ve become huge germaphobes! He's eating like a champ, growing like a weed, smiling like crazy, and sleeping like a log!! We're all getting plenty of sleep and eating well, including Lawson. He stays awake about 3 hours throughout the day and he goes right back to sleep at night after his feedings. He's also averaging between 75 and 80mls each feeding!
You know you've been stuck in the house for a while, when you're sitting at the dinner table and your 3 year old daughter says, "Mommy! Why are you still wearing your pajamas?! And the next morning after my shower, she says, "Why did you dress up like that?!" I was wearing jeans and a black shirt. LOL! I guess she got used to seeing me in my pajamas. Nevertheless we’re not really feeling any cabin fever just yet. Although Lawson is not allowed to ‘go public’ quite yet, Brian took him and Lacey for a walk around the block for some fresh air and they all loved it! Brian gets to the gym every once in a while. Lacey and I have been to Target a few times to pick up bottles and such as we try to find just the right one. She and I even made it to a birthday party today! I’ll have to admit, I was a wreck the whole time worrying about her picking up germs. I couldn’t help carefully inspecting each little nose for the slightest little ‘run’ and I think I made her wash her hands 100 times! We're still keeping up with the pumping, freezing, thawing, mixing, feeding, washing procedure. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if I’ll be able to accomplish much else each day when mom leaves and Brian goes back to work! As I mentioned in a recent post, Brian has really stepped up to the plate. Not that he wasn’t helpful when Lacey was born, this is just much more than I expected. I’m talkin’ cooking, cleaning, mixing up and washing bottles, feeding and entertaining Lawson, putting Lacey to bed, running errands, and so many more things. Let’s just say, I REALLY like the ‘new’ Brian! :) Although he does take germaphobe to a whole new level! lol

Titles

When Lacey woke up this morning, she came into my room just as I was about to get into the shower. Lawson was still asleep in the bassinette next to our bed, mom was still snoozing in her room, and Brian was already downstairs. Assuming Lacey would want to eat breakfast immediately, as she usually does, I said, "I really need to get in the shower, but Daddy's downstairs." To my surprise she climbed up onto my bed and said, "OK. I'll watch Lawson for you." Amazed by her maturity, I went along with it. After a few moments, I heard him crying. Lacey came running into the bathroom shouting, "Mommy, Lawson needs you!" I told her I couldn't get out yet and she'd have to figure it out. In classic Lacey style, she raced to her bathroom to get her stool, dragged it down the hall, climbed up, and gave Lawson his pacifier; crisis averted! Every day her grace and acceptance of her responsiblities as Big Sister astound me!
We are all still adjusting to our new version of normalcy. I'm still pumping every 3 - 4 hours. Lacey is absolutely indispensible. Brian is totally stepping up to the plate and vying for Dad of the Year. (Seriously, those of you who know him well, would be shocked and impressed! lol) My mom is starting to talk about when she should leave. Although we don't want her to leave - ever, we realize that at some point she will and when she does, our 'normal' will change once again. One thing that is certain currently, is that I will not be returning to teaching for at least a year. The team of doctors at Duke who saved Lawson's life were clear in their recommendation that, if at all possible, he should not enter a daycare setting until at least his first birthday due to his susceptibility to infection and need for individualized care. Not to mention the numerous follow up appointments we will have over the coming year. We already have 3 scheduled over the next month. So needless to say, staying home is a no-brainer for us. I mean seriously, how could you leave that adorable face!?
Honestly though, I find that Teacher is a role I just can't shake! It's a good thing that Lacey has a voracious appetite for learning! I took her to the library and lunch at Jersey Mike's today, just the two of us, to show her how much I appreciate her help with Lawson. We found ourselves sounding out and labeling the things on our table- bag, cup, lid, chips, napkin, etc, with the Sharpie I just happened to have in my purse. When class let out, we arrived home just in time for Lawson's bottle and medicine administration, so I assumed my role of Nurse.

Staying home with my children is definietly a role I've always wanted to take on, so I'm pretty excited to gain the title 'Stay Home Mom'. Although I'm not sure the logistics of the term . . . do I still get to call myself a Stay Home Mom if I'm technically on leave? If we look at semanitcs, I am, in fact, staying home. So I think I'll go ahead and claim that title, at least for a year! ;)