Enjoying Time at Mamaw & Papaw's

The kids have been at my parent's house since April 16, to give me a week to finish packing and cleaning our house in Raleigh before we closed on Monday April 26. It was also supposed to have given me a week to get our house in Roanoke Rapids ready before we went to pick them up. According to that plan, we should be just getting home tonight from mom and dad's house, introducing Lacey and Lawson to their new rooms. Unfortunately, since we haven't closed on our house in Roanoke Rapids, we haven't moved in, and therefore we haven't gone to pick them up. We're going to get them this weekend whether we've moved in or not! So they've got one more week to live it up at the grandparents house before the party's over! :)

Limbo

Since my last update, we have gone through some pretty dramatic changes! Our house in Raleigh sold! Hurray for that! Considering the current economic state of our country, selling a house in less than 2 months is worthy of celebration! We have found the perfect house for us in Roanoke Rapids! Hurray for that too! It was not an easy feat; we looked at EVERY house on the market, which is about 10 total, at least twice each, until we found out that this one was 'going to be' going on the market soon. We ended up checking it out before it ever hit the market and fell in love! Our grand plan was to close on both houses in one day, for a quick, painless, seamless move! However, that plan hasn't happened! We successfully closed on our house in Raleigh on Monday, April 26. Our stuff is stuffed like sardines into a 26' uhaul truck, parked in an undisclosed location until further notice. We are living like college students in Brian's sparsely furnished apartment with a suitcase that was only packed for three days, until further notice. The children are happy as clams spending some time at mamaw's and papaw's until . . . next weekend. We had wanted to have the house all set up and ready for them before we bring them 'home'. However, if something doesn't happen soon, we just can't wait any longer! I MISS MY KIDS!!!

The problem we are having is beyond our control, which makes it even harder to swallow. The aforementioned 'economic state of our country' has also cause lenders and mortgage insurance companies to do a complete 180 from the housing boom, where they would give a loan to anyone with a pulse, to being freakishly cautious with everyone, including well qualified buyers! Everything on our end is fine, great actually. However, since we're not putting 20% down, our loan will require mortgage insurance. Unfortunately, since the market has been sooooooooooooo slow in Roanoke Rapids and there have been very few sales to compare the house to, the PMI company 'doesn't like' the appraisal, which is actually right on target for the area. Part of our problem is that we went with a loan company that Brian found online that is based out of Chicago. They're not local, so they don't understand the market. They're not local, so we can't show up at the office and demand that our questions be answered. They're not local, so we're at the mercy of voicemail. And they apparently really want our business, because the broker has been stringing us along since Monday, saying that he's got 'one more thing' to try. We should have probably went ahead and gone with the local bank that we met with 'three more things' ago on Tuesday, but we thought if we just wait a little and let the original lender pull through, it would go faster. At this point if/when we end up using the local bank, it will be seven days from the time we sign before we can close. So if by some miracle, our original lender pulls through, we may be able to close/move in at the first of next week. If not, this will most likely push us two weeks from now. My patience is running very thin, but I believe God has a plan, not sure what it is, but I suppose I'm along for the ride!

Look Who's Turning One!

It's been a while. . .

I was reminded recently that it's been a very long time since I've posted anything on the blog. I realized it's been even longer since I've REALLY 'written' like I used to do. There was a time when I thought I would keep 'our story' updated much more often than I do. And then life happened! There have been sooooo many exciting, wonderful, hilarious, crazy, sad, happy moments that I really meant to 'preserve' but somehow I never find the time to just write. I don't beleive in resolutions, but I promise myself I'm going to try and update more often!

Speaking of resolutions, 2009 couldn't possibly have been any crazier in the Levering house! January was mostly normal, besides me being ridiculously hugely pregnant at only 5 months. In February, we flew to Florida to see my best friend Danielle and her family (imagine hugely pregnant woman in a baithing suit-Yikes!). In March, my world was rocked when my little man arrived 6 weeks early, not by his choice, but doctors orders. From there on, it was full throttle! We spent at least 3 hours, usually more, at the Duke NICU every single day for 78 days. In April, we watched our little man battle for his life and finally have a very risky surgery to remove half of his lung. In May we watched him get better and better as I struggled with trying to breastfeed him. On the last day of April, we finally brought our little miracle boy home! June was filled with non-stop doctor appointments and saying goodbyes, both to my Kindergarten class, which I hadn't seen since March 11 and to my mom, who had been with us while Lawson was in the NICU. In July, I cleared out my classroom and 'offically' became a stay home mom. In July, I also got the awesome news that Lawson had grown out of his swallowing problem and so we could begin breastfeeding, only to find he wouldn't do it, so I continued to pump. In August, Lawson went on his first vacation to Carolina Beach. I was still pumping religiously, but ended up running out of milk because of an unfortunate power outage/freezer debacle. September was definitely a Lacey month; she got her first ever haircut, started a new preschool, and celebrated her 4th birthday. In October, we had our world rocked again . . . Brian lost his job at the company he had been with for 13 years! November brought even more drama. What we thought was going to be a quick visit to family turned into an extended stay with Brian's elderly, ailing grandparents in New Jersey, a visit to my sister in Alexandria, VA, a few days New York City, and then Thanksgiving in my hometown, Honaker, VA. Seriously, of the 31 days in November, we slept in our own beds two nights! By December, Brian had been offered a job in Emporia, VA. We spent the month researching online and traveling to visit possible places to live. Brian accepted the job and was set to begin in January. And so we closed the book on 2009 with CHANGE being the only thing certain for 2010!!!!

Latest Levering News

As most of you know, Brian recently entered the job market after 13 years at the same company because of downsizing. He set to work right away looking for a new job and after about two months of hard core job searching and two interviews, we got a call which set in motion the craziness that has been our lives for the past few weeks. In a matter of a few days, we have made some pretty big decisions!

On Monday, December 14, Georgia Pacific in Emporia, VA, called Brian to offer him the job for which he had interviewed about 2 weeks prior. They wanted an answer TWO days later, on Wednesday! We did some serious internet research and found that the best place to live nearby would be Roanoke Rapids, NC which is about 15 minutes from Emporia. So we loaded up the kids and headed that way on Tuesday.

We spent the day with the sweet ladies of Wilkie Real Estate touring some gorgeous houses and great neighborhoods. The weather was nice, so we saw a ton of children out and about in the neighborhoods. EVERY single person we encountered was friendly and it felt like we met half the town while we were there! LOL The 'downtown' area was really cute and charming, plus we heard the town has received a downtown revitalization grant, so more 'charm' is on the way! I think there's even a dance studio for Lacey!

While we were in the area, Brian got a chance to tour the Georgia Pacific plant where he will be working. You've probably heard of them. If not, start looking for their paper towel dispensers in public bathrooms; they're everywhere once you start looking! :) They make paper, paper products, plywood and many other things with locations all over America. Brian will be the Plant Purchasing Manager for the Emporia plant. He will be responsible for purchasing/stocking the parts needed to keep all the equipment running. It seems like a pretty good job and they guarantee 'performance based' bonuses plus lots of growth potential. For Brian it is a career move that's just too good to refuse. And for me, it's a few more years to be home with the kids.

Needless to say, he accepted the job! He'll move up the second week of January and starts work on January 18ish. We're putting the house on the market in early February. The kids and I will stay here until we sell (so Lacey can stay in school) and my mom is coming to stay with us to help me take care of the kids and keep the house clean. ;) We've already started getting the house ready, changing faucets and light fixtures, decluttering, painting, etc. It's a wild ride in the Levering house these days- exciting and terrifying at the same time! This will definitely be a culture shock/lifestyle change for us after living in Raleigh, but I’m confident we can make the most of it! We'll keep you posted as to our progress!

Another Homecoming

This Thanksgiving we brought Lawson back to my hometown for the first time. It was a wonderful visit, since my sister and her family were there too. So for the first time, my family was ALL together! It was wonderful! We also took Lawson to First Baptist Church, one of the churches that prayed so hard for Lawson's recovery. As soon as the pastor figured out who he was, he came and got Lawson and carried him all around the church. He was oogled over, prayed for, and celebrated! And one of his biggest fans, Sue Kiser, finally got the chance to hold him. It was a great day! Enjoy the pics.

On the Go

Tonight I'm posting from Brian's phone so bear with me! We've been on the road since Friday morning visiting family. First my sister and her family in DC; next Brian's grandparents in NJ. We're currently in NY, just for fun between stops. We're going to try to get on the Today show tomorrow-just in the crowd around the plaza. Last year Al Roker interviewed me! :). Now every time Lacey sees him on TV, she yells out, "We know him!" Let's hope We get to chat with our buddy again!

Lawson eating . . . er . . . attempting to eat

Here's a video of Lawson attmepting to eat. We're having quite a time getting him to take solid foods. He does this really funny thing when the food touches his tongue. He sticks it out, so as to say, "Eeew, get it off, get it off!" I'm sure he'll get it soon enough . . . ;) Enjoy!

New Milestone!

Lawson has been sitting up all by himself for a few days now! :)

Roly Poly

Please excuse our huge blanket over the couch. Yes, I know how incredibly tacky it is. However, this morning, I was reminded of exactly why we have it there. As Lawson finished his bottle, I moved him up to my shoulder for the obligatory burp. Instead of a burp, I got a projectile spit-up all across the back of the couch. Luckily my tacky blanket was there to save the day.

But all this is beside the point! Look at this video!! :) My favorite part is the punch at the camera at the end! As if to say, paparazzi, leave me alone! LOL

Cold Turkey

In case you've never tried stopping breastfeeding/pumping 'cold turkey', it's a very bad idea!! I do NOT recommend!

At our appointment at Duke on Tuesday, I was told I could stop pumping my breastmilk for Lawson. I took that literally and stopped; not a good idea! My breasts got very engorged and painful. I did know I needed to pump just a little to ease the pain, but not enough to 'stimulate' more milk production. So just before bed I pumped about an ounce from each breast. By the time Lawson woke up for his first night feeding, I was in so much pain, I could barely sleep! I ended up getting out of bed and coming downstairs to pump just to relieve the pain!! I've never been happier to pump in my life! Ahhhh, sweet relief! lol

It's Friday night and I've had to pump a few times each day to ease the pain, but it's getting better. This morning, I returned the hospital grade Medela pump (shown above) I had been renting from Smart Momma in Raleigh. Mothers of NICU babies are encouraged to rent the hospital grade pump if they're pumping more than feeding. Luckily I do have my own Medela Pump In Style that I used with Lacey and have had to use it. So as it turns out, even stopping the pumping is a challenge! LOL The things we do for our children! ;)

The End

So if you've been reading my blog, you know how important breastfeeding has been to me. I've wanted to breastfeed Lawson since he was born. Even when he was in the NICU, weeks away from ever eating anything, I shared my desire with his nurses. Most of the nurses were on board, saying that if breastfeeding was my goal, it was theirs too. There were a few who made me feel guilty for even talking about it when Lawson was so sick. I've held on to the hope until just recently.

During our last Special Infant Care Clinic visit, he showed that he had conquered his swallowing issues and we were approved to stop using the thickener in his milk and therefore approved to begin breastfeeding. At that point, he was about 4 months old. During that visit, he latched on and breastfed like a champ. When we got home and tried it again, I had thrush (again) and so it was extremely painful. So I continued to pump while giving him bottles of my expressed milk - now with no thickener, so it was much easier for him to take. I would try to breastfeed before each bottle, but as time passed, he grew more and more fond of his bottle and less fond of the breast, since it is more difficult to get milk from the breast. He is now at the point where if it even comes close to him he screams like I'm trying to kill him. LOL So I've given up on actually breastfeeding, but have continued to pump.

When I shared this with Dr. Benjamin at his appointment on Tuesday, she was amazed that I was still pumping. She commended me for my dedication to pumping, but said there was really no reason to continue. He had already gotten the important immunities that come with the early milk. I argued that I was committed to 'breastfeeding' for a year and she countered with, "That's only under the most ideal circumstances." I think we could say that I've had less than ideal circumstances- double mastitis, almost constant recurrence of thrush, pumping for weeks in the beginning when we couldn't even feed him, having several gallons of my frozen milk spoiled, and not even being able to start breastfeeding until he was about 4 months old. I think that breastfeeding a baby is a beautiful and natural thing. Hooking yourself up to a mechanical milking machine is just weird and unnatural! To be perfectly honest, as committed to breastfeeding as I have been, I was really happy to hear her say I could stop pumping.


My first thought was, "Hurray! Freedom! Now I don't have to be tied to the pump all the time and schedule my day around pumping." The next thought that quickly replaced it was, "Oh no! Now I don't have any excuse to sit in front of the computer while I pump for 30 minutes every 3 hours!" LOL

Miracle Baby

We didn't even know Lawson had an appointment Tuesday, until they called with the reminder message on Monday. Apparently, at our last Special Infant Care Clinic appointment 3 months ago, we thought we were finished, so we didn't check out and missed finding out about the appointment! (Either that, or we're really sucky parents and just forgot to write it down on either of our calendars.) We've had a variety of appointments at both Duke and his regular pediatrician, but the Special Infant Care Clinic appointments only happen every so often. It's the most intensive and involves the most time.

Lawson is now 14 pounds even and is 24.8 inches long!! He is in the 25th percentile for height and weight for his adjusted age! His upper and lower body strength is right on track! His head control is excellent for his adjusted age. He can roll from his back to both sides and has been approved to play on his tummy time mat with no support pillow. The physical therapist said he's probably about 6 weeks away from sitting up on his own and should begin rolling over with no support pillow any day now. He still enchants everyone he encounters with that contagious smile! It makes people feel so special when he charms them, I hate to tell them that he does that for everyone. ;)

They took blood to check if he has overcome the anemia found during his last SICC visit. We got awesome news! No more anemia!! That means we can drop two of his meds! We have also been asked to begin weaning him from the Reglan. A few weeks after he is completely off the Reglan, we can begin weaning off the Prilosec. That means by our next appointment, he will be completely off all of his meds!! Yippee! They did stress the continued importance of preventing any sort of illness. And just like you hear on the news - proper and frequent handwashing is the number one defense! One of the doctors suggested 'hibernating' this winter and avoiding any large groups of children, no church, gym, or other type of daycare. He will most likely move back to two breathing treatments per day during the winter. He will be receiving a medication from the doctor once a month over the fall/winter for the prevention of RSV, which preemies are more succeptible to getting.

The best thing though, is that EVERY doctor who saw him today called him "Miracle Baby". He saw three neonatologists, (only one was 'supposed' to see him, the others were just visiting) :) the physical therapist, and the lady who took his blood. As each one entered the room at different times and began to interact with Lawson, they all said, in so many words, "This baby is absolutely a miracle!" To see where he has been and where he is now, just astonishes people! Dr. Benjamin, one of our favorite neonatologists and the doctor who saw him at his last Special Infant Care Clinic, just couldn't get over what a big boy he has become. She kept calling him 'chunker'. I never thought I'd see the day that anyone would call Lawson a chunker! He's healthy. He's happy. He's a chunker. He truly is a miracle baby!

Halfway!

We've reached the halfway mark! Lawson has been home with us longer than he was in the NICU!! Since then we've been back to Duke many times for appointments and check ups. Just this week we had his hearing screening at Duke, which he passed. (Babies who've been on sustained ventilation have a much greater risk of hearing loss in the future.) This visit was over in record breaking time!! I was actually in disbelief when, after one procedure they said, "OK, you're all set." I jokingly said, "So we can go home now, right?" fully expecting to head back to the waiting room to wait for the next procedure. She said, "Yep, all done!" Thirty-one minutes from parking to returning to the car!!!

Auntie Shel's Visit

Over the weekend, my sister and her husband were finally able to make it down to see Lawson. We've tried to schedule this a few times, but this was the first time they've gotten to visit since Lawson has been home. They're living in Alexandria, VA these days, much closer than Holland, so it's a little easier, but life still happens.

This was the first time Michelle had gotten to hold Lawson. She did get to see him once in the hospital; yes, we sneaked her in when they came to visit while he was still at Duke! ;) They got in on Saturday and only spent one night, but we had a blast! We hung out at home and enjoyed each other's company until dinner time. We decided to take Mike and Michelle to downtown Raleigh, since they've been to visit us many times, but have never been downtown. This was Lawson's first visit downtown as well. We had dinner at The Big Easy on Fayettville Street and then sat outside to enjoy the evening. A sweet lady driving a rickshaw rode up and started chatting with Lacey. In true Lacey style, she charmed the lady into a free rickshaw ride around downtown. :) We took a tour around the city and then headed home to get Lacey to bed, very late I might add! She only sees her auntie every once in a while, so we bend the rules a bit on the bedtime. Lawson sleeps whenever he feels like it, so it didn't bother him! lol

Portraits

This week I decided that Lawson was well enough to finally have some portraits made. I called an old friend, Kitty Jones, who took some amazing portraits of Lacey when she was a baby. Ms. Kitty is the manager at JC Penny Portriat Studio at North Hills. She doesn't really take photos any more due to the time/stress constraints of the managerial position, but she makes the occasional exception. I'm glad she did; these are amazing! Thanks Kitty!

We're also planning to have some less formal family portraits made by another good friend, Nathan Schepker. I'll post those as soon as they're done. You can see his work at www.nathanspictures.com.

Time to Mourn

The time has come for me to mourn a loss. It happened quite a while ago, but we found out about it the day we were bringing Lawson home from the NICU. I haven't said anything about it yet but now it's painfully clear what a huge loss it was. Gallons of my breastmilk were lost. There's only enough milk for about 3 days left in our freezer. I'm still pumping and we're trying to breastfeed before each bottle, but I'm just not making enough milk to keep up. If you've been following my blog, you know how important is to me for Lawson to get my milk.

Early on, I was pumping and freezing all my milk, since Lawson wasn't able to eat for weeks and when he finally was, he was getting very small amounts. So of course I had a TON of milk to store. There were bins in the refridgerators in the NICU for moms to store milk and mine was stuffed full, as was our freezer at home. So we asked Brian's brother to store a huge bag of milk (I'm talking large cooler full of little bottles.) in the big chest freezer at his house in Apex. After that the milk just kept piling up, so we finally broke down and bought our own large chest freezer for our garage. We kept saying we needed to head to Apex and pick up the milk they were storing for us but trips to Duke just kept getting the better of us. So the day we finally brought Lawson home from the NICU, Brian called to let them know he would come and get it, only to find out that it was gone! There had been some serious storms that caused their electricity to go off long enough for much of the milk to thaw out. The 'safety rules' of storing breastmilk say that once milk has been thawed it cannot be refrozen.

I cried so hard when Brian told me about it, but I figured everything would be fine. However, since we've been home, it's been harder to pump as often as I should, so my milk supply has really suffered. I found an awesome product called 'More Milk Plus' which really helped, but not enough. It's just a fact, no product in the world will help if you don't pump on schedule. I know the day is in sight when my milk will run out and Lawson will have to take a few bottles of just formula. I'm really sad about that, but there's just not enough hours in the day to pump as often as I need to to keep up with the demand.

A reason to smile

I've realized that several of my last posts have sounded kinda negative, which is very uncharacteristic of me! If this doesn't give you a reason to smile, I don't know what will!! Here is one of the absolutely wonderful things about staying home! (more to come in the future)

We've recently found out that Mr. Lawson is ticklish . . .

Sleep Deprived

My son and I really need to have a chat about our sleep schedules! Those of you who know me, know I am NOT a morning person! In my opinion, the day should begin at around 10:15am, just early enough to get breakfast at McDonalds. I could easily stay awake half the night. As a matter of fact, it's hard for me to go to bed early. Well, except for when I was pregnant with Lacey. I was so exhausted, plus trying to do everything by the book, that I went to bed at 9pm without a fuss. By the time Lawson came along, I was so exhausted, yet so busy that my evening was just beginning at 9pm! Now I'm usually heading to bed by around 12:45 after my final pumping session of the evening. (Yes, I have given up pumping during the night!) The problem is that Lawson wakes up to eat at around 3am ready to party! His 'long span' of sleep between feedings is from about 6pm until around 11pm , so he's just not ready to go back to sleep when he's supposed to be sleeping. (He's an evening sleeper like Daddy! lol) When he's finished his 3am bottle, we hang out and play for about an hour. He finally goes back to sleep until around 6am, when he's ready to wake up to eat and start his day. OMG! Starting my day at 6am after a night like that!? I'm going to die of sleep deprivation!

Alternate Universe

For my entire working life, my world has revolved around the beginning and ending of school. My 'year' begins when school begins. Starting a school year means the mad rush it takes to get everything ready for another batch of little ones. And ending a year means tying up all the little details like paperwork and programs. Most of those years the rush to begin starts in August and the wrap up happens in June, which leaves at least a month between ultra busy times. Three years ago when I began teaching at a year round school, the mad rush to begin and end happend with less than a week in between! Talk about an adreneline rush, a natural high! It was exhausting, yet fabulous. For a work-a-holic lovin' her job teacher, it was a love/hate relationship.

I haven't been back to work since the Wednesday I left for my 33 week check-up. That was 19 weeks ago. For the first time since I started teaching 11 years ago, I have missed ending one year and beginning another. If I were working this year, I would have already been back to school for 3 weeks and would be 3 weeks away from my first track out! I'm still checking my work email pretty regularly, mostly out of curiosity. Yet I still feel completely out of the loop, as I guess I'm supposed to be. That's what taking the year off means, right?

I can't help but wondering what my class would have been like if they were in fact mine. How would this group be different from last year, the one before that? I think I miss working, especially since there are days that I never get out of my pajamas! Somehow I thought it would be easier to disengage from work. Although it is nice not to have the pressure and stress of beginning a school year, I miss the rush . . . a little. Seriously, it feels like there's an alternate universe happening parallell to my life right now. Someone else is in my classroom, teaching my class, attending my meetings, stealing my high!