On Hold

Breastfeeding is a wonderful and beautiful thing! It is a perfect way for mother and child to bond. Quite possibly the most natural thing a woman can do. OK, I'm getting a little carried away here. I'll have to say I agree with the first two, but that last one about being 'natural' is just a load of crap! I don't care how many people say breastfeeding is a natural skill that every baby and mother share, it's just simply not the case. It's a learned skill! In an earlier post I mentioned that I breastfed Lacey for 14 months and loved every second of it. Well, what I actually meant was that I loved every second AFTER the 400,000 or so it took her to get good at it. She didn't take a bottle until about 3 months and never really used a pacifier, so for her it was just a matter of figuring out how to latch on correctly, which is the key to successful nursing (and preventing EXTREME pain for mom). I know that a good latch is the key to preventing EXTREME pain from firsthand knowledge. There were nights I sat there crying in pain, determined to continue breastfeeding, adjusting her latch over and over, frustrating both her and me until we got it right. We trudged on through cracked and bleeding nipples, through a rough bout of thrush (yeast infection of the breast - ridiculously painful, like having broken glass in your nipples), and in spite of having a low milk supply. So to say that I loved every second of it is seriously discounting the serious 'work' we put into it at the beginning.

So the point of this vignette? Teaching a baby to breastfeed is complicated! Teaching a preemie to breastfeed is more complicated. Teaching a preemie who was unable to have any milk for the first month of his life, was fed through a feeding tube in his nose for the next month of his life, and has been drinking exclusively from a bottle for the last month to breastfeed is pushing the limits. Having thrush when your teaching a preemie . . . you get the point. The thrush, combined with Lawson's poor latch, makes it so painful that I can barely stand it! It does hurt to pump, but not as bad. Lawson does not have thrush in his mouth, but we're treating him with Nystatin just in case. Not sure what it is about my breasts, but this is the 4th time I've had thrush since he's been born! I've followed all the recommendations of the doctors and lactation consultants, but I feel like I've had thrush forever! I've boiled bottles and pump parts, used Newmans Nipple Cream and Nystatin, taken two weeks worth of Diflucan, washed bras in bleach and hot water, sat topless in the sun out on the deck. . . I've even painted the nipples with gentian violet (dark purple stain), supposedly THE cure for thrush, but nothing seems to work! Ugh!

So the day I've been waiting for, the day we were given the green light to breastfeed, has been put on hold until I can shake this recent bout of thrush.